Stay
by Books and Sunshine
Summary: What if Kurt was dating Sebastian instead? And it was the 1st episode of season 4? How would Sebastian have convinced Kurt to go to New York?


_A/N: So, I got caught up on Season 4 of Glee a couple weeks ago, and all I could think when watching Blaine's little "It's Time to Begin" song was that Seb would have said it differently. Better. I love Klaine, and I love Imagine Dragons, but Sebastian would have convinced Kurt to go to New York epically. Then the story got a bit angsty since both Kurt and Seb can be Drama Queens. So I wrote this and then just left it in my notebook for several weeks because I couldn't find a song I liked for him to sing, then I had midterms and the power went out... So now I finally decided to post it and chose a song (Stay - by Hurts). Hope you like it. Sorry for the long authors note._

* * *

Kurt strode into the ivy-covered building just as the bell rang, releasing a flood of boys decked out in navy and red into the halls. His brown button down shirt, gray vest, and pageboy cap stuck out like a sore thumb against the sea of duplicates. He wove his way through the tide of people until he reached a slightly quieter room with more boys in blazers and a crowd of other boys surrounding them (at a respectable distance, of course). Kurt quickly made eye contact with a tall boy in the center of the group with green eyes and messy brown hair, and flashed him a grin. The green eyed boy faltered for a second – a look of doubt in his eyes – before returning the grin full force, then turning and giving a nod to the other boys. The sound of music filled the room, and the crowd instantly quieted. The green eyed boy stepped forward and started to sing…

_My whole life waiting for the right time  
To tell you how I feel.  
And though I try to tell you that I need you.  
Here I am without you.  
I feel so lost but what can I do?  
'Cause I know this love seems real  
But I don't know how to feel._

Kurt sucked in a deep breath – he rarely heard the lead vocalist sing something so heartfelt and serious (well, anything not about sex, partying, and sex), and every time it sent chills down his spine.

We say goodbye in the pouring rain  
And I break down as you walk away.  
Stay, stay.  
'Cause all my life I've felt this way  
But I could never find the words to say  
Stay, stay.

Alright, everything is alright  
Since you came along  
And before you  
I had nowhere to run to  
Nothing to hold on to  
I came so close to giving it up.  
And I wonder if you know  
How it feels to let you go?

You say goodbye in the pouring rain  
And I break down as you walk away.  
Stay, stay.  
'Cause all my life I've felt this way  
But I could never find the words to say  
Stay, stay.

So change your mind  
And say you're mine.  
Don't leave tonight  
Stay.

Say goodbye in the pouring rain  
And I break down as you walk away.  
Stay, stay.  
'Cause all my life I've felt this way  
But I could never find the words to say  
Stay, stay.

Stay with me, stay with me,  
Stay with me, stay with me,  
Stay, stay, stay, stay with me.

The last remnants of the song seemed to hover in the air in its aftermath before the crowd broke the atmosphere with a cheer. Kurt ran forward and threw his arms around the green eyed boy's neck. Rocking up onto his toes, he pressed a chaste kiss onto the other boy's lips.

"You were wonderful, Bas" Kurt complemented his boyfriend with a huge grin, "Your voice is always beautiful. But that was a rather solemn song for you…. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's great" Sebastian said, not quite making eye contact, before tugging lightly on Kurt's arm "C'mon, let's head to my room."

Kurt linked their arms as they walked down the hallway to Sebastian's single. It had taken Kurt time to get Sebastian to open up and accept such a level of closeness – holding hands, linking arms, and kisses on the cheek – but it was worth it.

They reached Sebastian's room and he just opened the door – Kurt always wished that he'd keep it locked, but Bas said that prep school boys didn't have it in them to commit even the smallest crimes. Though Kurt would feel safer if Sebastian locked the door – Sebastian slept in there, showered in the attached bathroom, and kept quite a few expensive possessions in the room. Sebastian's room was a decent reflection of himself: it was rather cozy and quite a bit lazy, with several pillows and a comforter heaped on the bed, a desk cluttered with neat (but highly stacked) paperwork, a shelf for books, a finely crafted wardrobe, a cozy chair that curved so you sunk deep into your seat, a beanbag chair laying haphazardly on the floor with several semi-organized piles of clothes, a large mirror etched with a delicate design of leaves (and of course with the size of Sebastian's ego it took up nearly half a wall), and a few gorgeous paintings on the walls.

"Your seat, Milady" Sebastian said, bowing and dragging over the cozy chair.

Kurt giggled and plopped into the seat, squirming around to properly face Sebastian as he pulled over his desk chair and straddled it backwards, resting his arms on top of the chair's back.

"So…." Sebastian began "What have you been up to?"

"Got a job as the Lima Bean" Kurt made a face "It shouldn't be too fun, but I do like coffee. And I'm reapplying to NYADA for the spring. Until then, I should have a lot of time to visit you!"

"Cool" Sebastian said, gaze focused downward as he picked at the cloth covering on the back of his chair.

Kurt frowned – he would have to wait for Sebastian to tell him what was wrong, as pushing usually got him nowhere except cut by Sebastian's sharp tongue.

"So" Kurt said "Are there any new members this year? Entering freshman? I know Wes and David are constantly scouting for new talent. I actually have some free time, so I should be able to sit in on auditions with the Warblers –"

"Stop" Sebastian broke in. He was looking at Kurt again, but this time his expression was unpleasant – cruel and full of disgust – a mask that other people may have seen but that he had never before shown to Kurt. "You need to stop hanging around here like some washed up has-been. Only pedophiles and creeps – people who are looking for some action from a younger crowd or to relive their glory days – hang around high schools after they graduate."

Kurt frowned defensively "I'm _sorry_ if I thought my boyfriend wouldn't mind having me around, and I'm not washed up – I'm reapplying to NYADA!"

Sebastian glared and spat out viciously "Oh, please. You had all these grand New York dreams, but you failed. You didn't make it into NYADA and you didn't make it out of Lima! And what if you don't get into NYADA again, huh? Are you just going to stay here waiting forever? You probably didn't even want to go to New York in the first that place!"

Kurt leapt to his feet to scream at Sebastian, who jolted to his feet in response, "Oh, seriously! You know New York has been my dream since I was little!"

"And that seems like all it's ever going to be to you! You couldn't make it there even if you tried!"

"I could make it there _any_ day! All I'd need to do is rent an apartment and get a job! I am a highly successful person!"

"Oh yeah?! Well if it's soooo easy, then why haven't you yet? What the hell are you waiting for?!"

During their yelling, they had gotten closer, until their noses nearly brushed and Kurt was screaming in Sebastian's face. "Well _sorry_ that everyone I know is here! I can always go to New York next year, with you!"

"And who says I'm going to New York? Or that I'd want you with me? Who wants their old, washed up, high school graduate but not in college yet boyfriend hanging about and ruining their perfect senior year in a school full of single, hot men? No one, that's who!"

Kurt couldn't hold back the sob that slipped out of his mouth at that comment. Everyone had always said that Sebastian would break his heart, but for some reason Kurt still hadn't expected it. And it hurt so much worse than he could have imagined – realizing that Sebastian didn't care.

"Fine" Kurt spat "Maybe I will go to New York now that I don't have a spoiled, petty boyfriend anymore. I'm sure the men in New York are far superior to those here in Ohio, anyway."

He spun around, exited, and slammed the door behind him before he had to hear another word about how Sebastian would _enjoy his time in a school full of hot single men_. Kurt ran the whole way to the parking lot before collapsing onto the ground by his Navigator, tears already streaming down his face as he leant against a tire. He would go to New York. Get away. Get an apartment with Rachel. Get a job, something he actually enjoyed doing. He would thrive in New York, he just knew it. He could get used to not picturing Sebastian there with him. But right now Kurt just couldn't imagine there being anyone who could fill the Sebastian shaped hole in his heart. Maybe Sebastian didn't really mean it? He had a habit of saying hurtful things. But then again, how could someone like Sebastian actually care for someone like Kurt? He always told Kurt that he 'wasn't the relationship type'. Maybe it had always been a matter of time before he headed off to greener pastures and Kurt had been too damn _stupid_ and in love to realize. He'd just thought… Somehow in his thoughts they'd always be together. The forever kind of couple. But Sebastian clearly didn't want the same things as Kurt. And it's not like Kurt had anything going for himself – he wasn't rich or hot, and instead he had a 'gay face', a terrible shopping addiction, too pale skin, and a sharp tongue. Why had he thought that this relationship would work out? Why…

Kurt stopped his rambling thoughts and wiped his eyes, glad that the tears had petered out somewhere in his thoughts. All he needed now was to go home, take a long, hot shower, and forget about everything for a few moments. He would deal with the aftermath of his broken heart later. He patted his pockets. Then glanced around. Then patted them more frantically. F***. He'd left his keys and cell in Sebastian's room.

Kurt hesitated, then headed back into Dalton. He needed his stuff to get home. He was just going to pop in and out as quickly as he possibly could. Without any talking. But no, Sebastian would probably demand to know what he was doing back, and Kurt wasn't sure he could open his mouth to speak any words without tears and feeling falling out alongside them. Okay, he'd just say 'I left my keys and cell here, and would like to collect them' – short, simple, and to the point. Kurt repeated the words in his head so he would be sure to say them rather than something stupid accidentally (such as I love you or begging Sebastian to feel differently).

Kurt paused at Sebastian's door, from which loud music played, and a 'Do Not Disturb' sign hung from the handle. Sebastian couldn't have….. wouldn't have… found someone else already…. right? Kurt felt his heart nearly stop in his chest at that thought, but took a deep breath and decided to open the door anyway. He needed is stuff, and if he saw that – well, it could only help him get over Sebastian more quickly. What Kurt saw when he opened the door knocked all the air from his lungs, despite any mental preparation he'd done.

The room had taken a drastic change from the last time he'd been there – not 15 minutes ago. All the sheets had been torn off the bed and strewn across the floor, the mattress was lying half off the bed, a lamp lay smashed in a corner, clothes were lying haphazardly across the floor, the wardrobe had been tipped over onto its side, picture frames and glass lay shattered sporadically across the room, and the gorgeous etched mirror had crack's radiating from a large fist-sized dent in the mirror. Kurt stepped in, horrified by the wreckage. It couldn't have been a burglar; it looked more like a tornado had hit rather than someone searching for something. Sebastian – Sebastian had _never_ done anything like this. The only time Kurt had heard of that came _close_ to this bad was when Sebastian was 10 and had learned that his grandfather had died. Sebastian still kept the paintings he had made with his grandfather, despite the large rips that were patched by tape. Kurt took another stuttering step forward, stumbling over the haphazard ihome plug, instantly silencing the room to anything but Sebastian's heart wrenching sobs. Kurt wove his way through the minefield of glass and fabric to the source of the noise – the corner behind the bedframe and next to the wall. Sebastian had curled up into the fetal position; knees up to his chin, his eyes red from tears, hand pushed through his hair as if he was trying to pull it off, and cuts dripping blood covering his right hand. He blinked up at the intruder and Kurt froze. He had to say something – anything.

"I – I – I left my k-keys and cell here, and just w-want to collect them" Kurt stuttered, then cursed his idiocy a second later.

"What do you _want_ Kurt?" Sebastian's voice had never sounded so raw and hopeless, and yet so real. He didn't look like he could maintain his usual emotional mask, and it hurt Kurt to see him like that.

"_You_" Kurt blurted out before flushing – god, he really needed to think before he spoke, else he would babble out all his secrets.

Sebastian's laugh did not contain its usual lighthearted humor – instead, it was watery and self-mocking "_Why_?" he spat out in despair "Why would _you_ ever want that? Why when you have New York. An entire population of men. And I'm just some spoiled, mean, selfish little brat. You're the forever kind. And I'm just a spoiled slut. Why on earth would you ever, ever want that?!"

F*** thinking before he spoke. Kurt knelt down and leaned against the wall, reaching out his arms to draw Sebastian in and cradle Sebastian on his lap. Pulling him close, Kurt whispered in his ear "Because I love you, you stupid boy. I love you and I think you are _such_ a special person."

Sebastian nuzzled his head into Kurt's shoulder, dampening Kurt's shirt with his tears and shaking Kurt's body with his sobs. Kurt just rocked Sebastian back and forth, rubbing soothingly over his back and ignoring any damage to his clothes until Sebastian's tears slowed.

When Sebastian had dried his wet eyes, Kurt said in wonder "You cried". At Sebastian's look of confusion, he clarified "For me. You cried for me."

Sebastian snorted "Of course I did. You're probably the best _fucking_ thing that ever happened to me. And giving you up… hurt. Just don't tell anyone I said that."

Kurt curved his lips into a soft smile "Wouldn't want to ruin your reputation as a cold bastard now, would we?"

"Damn straight!"

They smiled at each other for a minute before Kurt brought up the main issue "So, why did you do it? If I'm that important to you, why did you push me away?"

Sebastian grew quiet and morose before asking "Are you going to New York, now?"

"Uhh… yes?"

Sebastian smiled sadly "That's why I did it."

"Bas…. I was always going to go to New York eventually. And you could have just encouraged me."

"NO!" Sebastian exclaimed "I knew – KNEW that you were going to leave me eventually. Whether because you finally realized how worthless I was or by way of New York. And I would have begged you to stay – flat out _begged_ – and you would have listened, because you're you. But I can't be like that. I need to stop being so fucking selfish and just set you free."

Kurt thought back to Sebastian's song. _Stay_. He had spelled it out for him in one of the few ways Sebastian ever could be honest; song. And Kurt hadn't listened.

"Bas" Kurt argued "You aren't worthless."

"No. I am. I'm selfish and petty and spoiled and slutty and everything bad in this world. There are thousands of decent guys in New York. And you've turned me into a jealous wreck. I wouldn't be able to handle it when you found someone else and decided to break it off with me. It'll hurt less if I leave you before you can leave me. And I'm just not good enough for you. How long after you left Lima do you think it would be before I felt so lonely that I got drunk at Scandals and cheated on you? It's the only way I know how to deal with my problems when you aren't here to listen and help. When you're just so far away and we can never get in touch with each other and – "

"Bas-" Kurt tried to interrupt as Sebastian's tone got more and more desperate.

"NO! Don't. You don't understand. You're – you're perfect and beautiful and sexy and smart and faithful and the marrying type. I'm just a spoiled, rich slut. This can't work. _Especially_ not a long distance relationship! I'm-"

Kurt gripped the back of Sebastian's neck and pulled him into a heated kiss to stop his nonsensical chatter. Sebastian froze as Kurt's tongue swept the hot cavern of his mouth. They kissed until Kurt felt Sebastian relax in his arms, then he pulled away firmly, though Sebastian tried to chase him with his mouth.

"Bas" Kurt said firmly, holding eye contact with the boy "I have always known that you were an ass, but I will _always_ want you, despite all that. Do you know what I see when I look at you?" Kurt gently swept a lock of hair off of Sebastian's forehead "I see someone absolutely perfect for me. Someone gorgeous and confident, who can match me as an equal at verbal sparring, who is smart and talented, who cares about me and tries to do what's best for me, and someone who has changed so much just to be with me. I love you, and for us, distance won't be a problem. Have you ever heard of a phone? Or Skype? Or letters? Not to mention your dad's private jet…. And being rich airplane tickets would be small potatoes for you. Bas, I love you, but you can be so _stupid_ sometimes. I'm not willing to give up what we have so easily, and a _million_ gay guys in New York couldn't change that. And as far as cheating – I worried about that when we first started going out – we went to different schools and I couldn't see you every day – but we worked everything out and you never seemed interested in pursuing anyone other than me. And if things get really bad –" Kurt took a deep breath "I _may_ – just _may_ – be willing to change my policy on sexting and phone sex. Now, if this relationship is something you want to pursue, you would make me the happiest man alive."

Sebastian pulled Kurt into a long, slow kiss, and when he pulled back, Kurt could see the tears shining in his eyes. "I will _never_ not want you. This is the forever kind of love, beautiful."

They cuddled together in silence for a moment before Sebastian spoke up again "So…. what's your opinion on Skype sex? – Ow! Don't hit an injured man, babe!"

At that Kurt's joking face turned serious and he grabbed Sebastian's right hand "Shit – c'mon, let's get you patched up."

* * *

That night, they had slow, passionate sex amongst the wreckage of Sebastian's room, and the next week, Sebastian stood watching as Kurt's plane disappeared into the cloudy sky.

And after a year of tears, love, surprise visits, fights, inappropriate calls and texts while Kurt was at his fashion internship, and long phone conversations where Sebastian did not mention sex even once, but rather wanted to hear every little detail of Kurt's life, Sebastian got accepted to NYU and the two could be together, finally.


End file.
